A Life for Robert: One-Shot
by chachingmel123
Summary: Robert Barone lives a sad life tied to the past. However, what if tried to pull himself together and was successful?


Summary: Robert Barone lives a sad life tied to the past. However, what if tried to pull himself together and was successful?

I do not own Everybody Loves Raymond.

Enjoy!

"I can't live like this no more," Said, Robert Barone as he looked around at his sad and lonely apartment.

He was now over 30, and his life had become like this.

He thought he would have settled down and had kids by now, but he was struggling to keep one woman.

He remembered the days before Raymond.

The glory days.

Oh, who was he kidding?

He could fantasy all he wanted but the truth was, it was terrible.

His parents were forced to marry because he had been born and it would look bad if they had him and there was no father in the house.

His parents didn't care at all about him and were constantly fighting or leaving him somewhere.

When Raymond was born, he was shocked to find out that his parents could love something together and they smothered his younger and more attractive looking brother.

His parents would celebrate everything Raymond did, and they wouldn't even bat an eye towards him.

He began to resent Raymond when in reality he wanted the same love Raymond got.

The longing for his parent's love haunted him from childhood into adulthood; he became obsessed with what his brother was doing.

When he heard that his parents were coming over his brother's house often, he would go over just to meet them, and his chest would contract every time.

And yet, even he had to admit that all that cuddling had made Raymond a lot more childish in contrast to other adults.

Women won't look at him and yet his brother had tons of girls swarming him and the same was true when he accidentally spun his brother ring into the drain, a woman was on his brother within 5 minutes.

And yet, today he realised that if he kept trying to one up Raymond and scream for his parents love, he would spend the rest of his life alone and be a pathetic excuse for a man.

"Why am I clamouring for my parents love? My parents are terrible people" He said, "Raymond gets married and my mother goes Godzilla on the poor women. My parents fight all the time and they barely had little to no impute in my life growing up and there is no way to change that. I'm stalking my brother even past the age of 30. No wonder Women don't find me attractive, I smell of desperation and parental issues."

He could look in the mirror and see that he had shadows in his eyes, displaying a broken soul.

"No." He suddenly got up and said. "I refuse to be like this to the day I die." than he decided to say something positive about himself. "I am tall, and that is something my family doesn't have. I am one of the protectors of a city. I am a Police man."

Then his mind went blank because he had trouble thinking of something.

"This haircut isn't doing it for me," He said, looking at himself in the mirror. "If I'm going to start a new, I'm going to get a new hairstyle. I need to stop trying to impress my parents by being neat and orderly. This is my life."

He then grabbed a coat, took his shoes and his wallet than walked out the door.

He was going to get a new haircut that complimented his nose; there must be a haircut that made his features look good.

There must be.

He got into his car and drove to town, he walked to his normal hairstyling shop and the people inside instantly recognized him.

"Hi," He said.

"Hello, Mister Barone" Said, the Woman at the desk.

"I would like to change my hairstyle," he said, he would like to change the hairstyle he had for 20 years.

"That would be 60 bucks, sir," Said, the woman.

He paid, and he was shown a seat.

"What hair do you have in mind?" Said, the woman who would be his hairstylist.

"I'm trying to get into the dating game. I want hair that compliments my face" he said, surprising her.

"Then it's a good thing you want to change this hair," She said, "This is awful for your face."

"It is?" he said, feeling like an arrow had gone through his heart.

"But don't you worry, even if it takes me hours, I will find the perfect hairstyle for you," She said, and she went through cans of hairspray, and she combed and blow-dried his hair into all sorts of hairstyle.

You would think that with hair so short, there wouldn't be many but there was.

However, after 3 hours she seemed to finally find one that she thought didn't make him look like strict and depressed, school teacher doomed to teach a class of terrible children for years.

"Done." She said, suddenly proud.

He blinked and was blown away, his military-like neat hair had transformed into spiky to the side.

What was better was that he didn't look dead inside.

"Wow" he said, he actually looked good.

"You are my greatest work yet" She said, before he got up and realized how terribly bland and neat his clothes were with this new haircut.

He walked out and went to the mall to buy himself some new clothes, or better clothes to walk out of.

When he walked out, the dull pale shirt he was wearing had transformed into a blue t-shirt, jeans and trainers.

He was looking more alive by the minute, but something was missing.

He walked out and saw a Gym on the opposite side of the street, he walked into it feeling nervous, but he knew since high school that guys who look great without their shirt off, get chicks.

Especially guys who wear tight shirts and you could see muscle popping out.

"Hello?" Said, a woman at the desk seeing him and wondering how he got so tall since it wasn't Everday that somebody of his height walked in.

"Err, I would like you to turn my flabby body into muscle, please," Robert said, feeling shame.

"Sure." Said, the woman. "A Month's membership to this gym is 13 dollars but if you want a personal trainer to attend to you, so that you can hit your ideal image with professional help than it would 10 dollars more."

"I will be willing to pay extra" Said, Robert taking out his wallet.

Any exercise he did, wasn't actually making him a tall, muscly god.

"Wonderful," She said, taking his money before he was taken to get his picture taken and given a locker room key before being assigned a trainer.

He walked home, with determination burning in his mind.

He went to bed alone and woke up in the early hours in the morning; his first instinct was to head to Raymond house and bother him.

"No. Seeing him would just make you feel bad about yourself," he said, he managed to have the willpower to stay away from Raymond house and put on his police uniform.

He walked out and didn't head to Raymond house instead he walked into his car and drove to the police station.

When he walked in, he tried smiling since he always looked like he was sucking on a lemon.

"Hello, fellow Police Officers" He said, to a group of them.

They turned to him in surprise and stared.

Robert didn't let his smile waver and he went to his desk, feeling a lot of people staring at him.

Most likely because of his new haircut and how they've never seen him smile before.

Then something happened.

A woman police officer came up to him.

"...Your Robert right?" She said.

He almost tripped over his own feet.

"Y-Yes, that is indeed my name," he said.

"I couldn't help but notice you smiling. You have a beautiful smile" She said. "It nice to see somebody smiling in this place.

"W-Well, I do aim to lighten up somebody day," He said, his fake smile was now becoming real.

"You're funny. We'll; my shift starts now. Got to get out there" She said. "See you around Robert."

"See you too," He said, before almost collapsing from disbelief.

A woman talked to him without the being driven by pity!

And apparently, people really like those who smile, because he was invited for a beer with some of his colleagues after work and for the first time in his life, he experienced the legendary 'Co-worker Guys Night' that he only saw on tv and in movies.

It was no wonder he walked to his apartment the happiest he had been in years.

Not thinking about Raymond and his parents were doing wonders for him.

The next day, after work he went straight to Gym and had his trainer measure him and figure out what he needed to do to get to his body goal, it was shocking being told what he needed to give up and what he needed to eat while he worked out.

One slice of pizza and it could go south for him.

Under professional help, he realised what he was doing wrong and pumped Iron almost every day, when he had to skip, he brought little weight to make up for that a little.

It was hell, but within a month his body began to transform before his eyes and his more active lifestyle was doing miracles for his job, that involved chasing criminal down and handcuffing them.

His department head seemed to like the new smiling, and active him and he was stunned to be nominated Employee of the month, something that he thought would be impossible for him.

With the performance evolution, he got a paycheck bonus.

Within three months, Robert felt confident enough to wear a tight vest with his jeans.

He showed off the body he slaved away for and starved his taste buds to maintain.

The number of women who looked at him was crazy, he had never felt so sexy in his life and he even got three-woman phone numbers in the process.

If his family could see him now, they would be fainting.

He had his head held high and even had a few dates, the bags under his eyes began to disappear with the attention.

He posed in the mirror every day, telling himself good things about himself and the list only grew longer by the day.

He went on 11 dates in the span of 2 months and slept with three woman who was all attractive, and he managed to use protection against due to his 'amazing' self-control.

Not even Raymond had that much game growing up.

Now, he thought that he had stayed too long away from his family and decided to visit a bit at Raymond house where no doubt his parents would be there.

He walked to the front door in a tight red vest, jeans and trainers.

He knocked on the door.

"I'll get it," Debra said, wishing she could kill Raymond mother.

She opened the door only to receive the shock of her life, as she was met with a good looking tall man in tight clothes showing a lot of skin and muscles.

She was speechless.

"Hi, Debra," Said, the voice of Robert coming from the stud. "Can I come in?"

"S-Sure," She stuttered.

He walked in, and you could just see the moment the kids saw him because the noisy living room became as silent as grave.

"Hey, Allen, Michael and Geoffrey," He said, to all three kids who opened and closed their mouths seeing him.

He then walked to the kitchen while feeling eyes at his now nicely toned ass.

The first to see him in the kitchen was none other than Raymond.

"Holy moly" Said, Raymond.

"Hey, Raymond. Can I burrow some of your milk?" he said, as his parents who were urging at the brown table became as silent as a grave when they saw him.

"S-Sure" Said, the man.

"Thanks," He said, smiling.

Actually, smiling nicely, showing his white teeth.

He went to the fridge and saw the milk was at the bottom, so he bent down.

And it would be lie if somebody was watching him as he bent down.

He grabbed the milk and said, "Thanks" to Raymon.

Then he walked back through the living room and walked out of the door, before heading back to his house.

Everybody in Raymond home, stared at the door, not quiet believing what they just saw.

"Holy Fricken, Christ," Debra said. "Raymond was that your brother, Robert? He looks good!"

Really good.

She could watch him walk for days.

For once, Raymond, Marie, Frank were speechless.

Robert looked happy AND was a stud.

What universe were they in!?

And scene!

Review/fav and follow!


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